Updated: Jan 27, 2019
Yep, just like that - it hit me right in the face. Just when I feel overwhelmed and extra unqualified to write my thoughts on the most epic and controversial book of all time... so not up to the task that it's the first thing I drop off my to do list when life gets busy... I open my bible back up and get everything I need.
But why do I still get scared? Anyone else worry that a lecture waits you when you haven't opened up your bible in a while? The guilt I place on myself makes it easier to just open a feel good devotional app for my daily reading... because I don't want to face really diving in... I think... I need to stay on the surface for a little while longer.
Then, I either stumble hard enough that I need to reach deep down back into it, or I work up the nerve to give it a go again. When I do, I am welcomed with grace - like I never left. He calmly says to me through his words "I'm here, I got this, I'm just glad to have you back. Are you hungry? Stay a while."
So how did I get all of that from John:6? You see, when I get overwhelmed I start to analyze the amount of things I have to get done in comparison to time, energy, and resources... a recipe for a practical disaster ridden with anxiety. Facts are facts, yes. But, it is impossible for us to predict everything. Don't over think it.
Fact: a few loaves and a few fish cannot feed over 5,000 people. There is no way on earth that is happening without the good Lord above. But guess what, he made it happen - he provided.
Fact: I have 99 problems and the Lord ain't one... each of us has daily to do lists, struggles, hurdles, and battles to face. They all look different, they all feel different, but they are all real. God may not be sending you loaves of fish and bread. I firmly believe that God speaks to his people in different ways at different times - he meets us where we are. Today that may look like a surprise cup of coffee from a friend. Or someone offering to help you out quick by running an errand for you - take them up on it. Let someone help you today. And maybe things just keep piling on and it doesn't feel like anything is being sent your way... but somehow you will make it to the end of the day and that to do list you had at the beginning doesn't seem as bad... because at that time, you had no idea it was about to get even worse. Yet, here you are - you made it through.
So even though opening my bible felt heavy and I felt guilty...Today, Jesus fed 5,001. He served me a meal. He is serving up grace for lunch today and dinner too. When we open our bibles back up - we are opening our hearts back up. Hearts that can only truly be nourished by the Bread of Life. I can't do this alone, but I don't have to. And neither do you.
Even after 5,000+ ate, there was still plenty left over.