"My time has not yet come".... said with such assurance by Jesus.
Is that how you would say it? When we are in the middle of the waiting game - waiting for goals to be accomplished, illnesses to be healed, a pending diagnosis, waiting to become a parent, or waiting to find your partner? For me, the phrase looks more like a begging question - Why God? When will it be time? Why must it take so long?
Then, when the waiting feels longer than it should, we get OVER proactive. I am not talking about the kind of proactive that involves staying on the steady path you are on to accomplish your goals/dreams/healing... let me show you what I mean when I say OVER proactive...
I have been there plenty of times. When I was searching for healing and a diagnosis for my own health struggles I started out being proactive by researching my symptoms, scheduling doctor's appointments, and changing my diet. When those things did not lead to the immediate or answers I was hoping for I, I cried out, prayed hard, and still was left with the waiting. I skipped the trust factor and instead of continuing on a steady path of repeating steps 1 through 3... I spiraled downward.
I researched into the morning hours, became so anxious that I couldn't sleep - which lead to giving myself more symptoms, which lead to researching those symptoms, which lead to less sleep, and less desire to eat well, less desire to pray about it, and left in a heap of worry and drowning in self pity and pain.
Being over proactive has also happens when pursuing a positive goal. When I started my writing journey, I felt lead to do so. I prayed about it, set goals, and trusted that all would grow in due time as I stayed focused. That looked like writing consistently, posting on social media consistently, finding my groove, finding my style, and staying true. Which lead to creating friendships, partnerships, researching effective ways to build a blog and a brand... All good things.
Here is where the over proactive set it... in my research I started to study other people's journeys. When you start to compare it gets overwhelming. You start to look at others and see how fast they grew, or how many likes or comments they are getting, what they are doing in their stories, or what types of posts they are sharing. You start to think that you need THAT in order to have an impact. (this can be the same not only for my journey - but for anyone working towards a goal and falling into comparison). You worry about creating circumstances for impact that resemble what someone else is doing. Creating opportunities is one thing... but no one can bring exactly what you can to the table. Your goals, your people, your mission, are not meant to be compared. Man - I had to recenter myself and I still do, daily.
As always, Jesus flips the idea of waiting or striving to succeed on its head.
To succeed is to serve & to serve is to succeed.
He puts that one in perspective real quick.
To wait is to have, and to have is to wait.
What? Okay, let's break this one down.
Think beyond YOU. Think beyond here and now. When you are waiting you have not choice but to focus on what you have being good enough for that day, to make it through. You may think that it isn't... and yet - here you are, it was. It was because you in fact, DID make it through yesterday.Not how you wanted to - but how you HAD to. In this time you are forced to rely on what lies before you. You are forced to rely on God and realize that you indeed have everything you need - him. Your faith pushes you through - knowing that beyond this world there is more.
Then, when you finally have it... sometimes it can feel like you are waiting to lose it. Or, you lose that dependence on God. You get comfortable, you continue on as though you have it all figured out... only to go through another trial and realize you can't do everything and you can't do it alone. So there is beauty in the waiting. And yet, there is beauty in the receiving too - so much.
So know with assurance if "your time has not yet come" - that there is joy to be found there. There is depth to be found there. Lean on the Lord and lean into your faith. Pray hard, be proactive, and trust.